Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

How's this for a bulletin from the weather service?

Issued by The National Weather Service
Seattle/Tacoma, WA
3:14 pm PST, Sat., Dec. 13, 2008

... THE LONGEST STREAK OF COLD WEATHER SINCE DECEMBER 1990 IS ON THE WAY...

WHILE THE POSSIBILITY OF LOWLAND SNOW SHOWERS IS IN THE FORECAST AT TIMES OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS... IT IS THE FRIGIDLY COLD TEMPERATURES EXPECTED OVER THE NEXT WEEK THAT COULD HAVE THE GREATEST IMPACT ON WESTERN WASHINGTON.

AN ARCTIC AIR MASS WILL STREAM INTO WESTERN WASHINGTON TONIGHT AND SUNDAY... IN THE WAKE OF AN ARCTIC FRONT MOVING SOUTH THROUGH THE AREA THIS AFTERNOON. TEMPERATURES WILL FALL BELOW FREEZING ACROSS WESTERN WASHINGTON TONIGHT WITH MANY SPOTS DIPPING INTO THE LOWER TO MID 20S. MOST OF THE REGION WILL REMAIN BELOW FREEZING ON SUNDAY WITH AFTERNOON HIGHS ONLY IN THE MID 20S TO LOWER 30S. IN ADDITION WINDY CONDITIONS WILL ACCOMPANY THE ARRIVAL OF THE ARCTIC AIR MASS TONIGHT AND SUNDAY... ESPECIALLY IN THE NORTH INTERIOR OF WESTERN WASHINGTON.

SNOW SHOWERS TONIGHT AND SUNDAY COULD PRODUCE LOCAL ACCUMULATIONS OF 1 TO 3 INCHES... CREATING SLIPPERY ROADS AND SIDEWALKS. ROADWAYS AND OTHER SURFACES THAT ARE ALREADY WET WILL QUICKLY BECOME ICY AND DANGEROUS. THE FRIGID WEATHER COULD BURST OUTDOOR PIPES AND ENDANGER PETS AS WELL. WIND CHILL IS ANOTHER THING THAT CANNOT BE IGNORED. IN THE NORTHWEST INTERIOR THE COMBINATION OF SUB-FREEZING TEMPERATURES AND WINDY CONDITIONS WILL CREATE APPARENT TEMPERATURES NEAR ZERO DEGREES FAHRENHEIT... LOW ENOUGH TO CAUSE FROSTBITE TO EXPOSED SKIN.

TEMPERATURES WILL DROP FURTHER ON MONDAY... AS VERY COLD AIR CONTINUES TO FUNNEL THROUGH THE FRASER RIVER VALLEY OF SOUTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA AND INTO WESTERN WASHINGTON. BY MONDAY... DAYTIME HIGHS WILL GENERALLY REACH ONLY THE 20S WITH NIGHTTIME LOWS IN THE TEENS OR LOWER. THE COLD AIR MASS WILL SIT OVER THE REGION FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK... WITH MOST ALL OF WESTERN WASHINGTON REMAINING NEAR OR BELOW FREEZING EVEN DURING THE DAYTIME. THIS WILL LIKELY BE THE MOST PROLONGED STREAK OF SUB-FREEZING WEATHER SINCE DECEMBER 1990.

IN ADDITION... A WEATHER SYSTEM ON WEDNESDAY COULD INTERACT WITH THE STUBBORN COLD AIR MASS TO PRODUCE A RENEWED THREAT OF ACCUMULATING SNOW ACROSS THE WESTERN WASHINGTON LOWLANDS.

OVER THE MOUNTAINS... TEMPERATURES WILL FALL INTO THE TEENS AND SINGLE DIGITS TONIGHT AND REMAIN VERY COLD FOR MUCH OF THE WEEK AHEAD. WIND CHILL VALUES OF 20 BELOW ZERO CAN BE EXPECTED AT TIMES ... WHICH WOULD CAUSE FROSTBITE TO EXPOSED SKIN IN ONLY ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

PLEASE BE PREPARED FOR AN UNUSUALLY PROLONGED AND INTENSE PERIOD OF COLD WINTER WEATHER.